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SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS OF : WHAT IS A WOMAN.

Chemical Analysis Hazardous Materials information Bulletin

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET NO.EC36C-24-36

Element..........:"WOMAN"
Symbol...........: Wo
Discoverer.....: Adam
Atomic mass...: Accepted as 53.6 kg, may vary from 40-200kg
Occurrence....:Copious quantities in all urban areas.

Physical properties:

  1. Surface usually covered in painted film

  2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason

  3. Melts if given special treatment

  4. Bitter if incorrectly used

  5. Yields to pressure applied at correct points

Chemical properties:

  1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones

  2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances

  3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reasons.

  4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol.

  5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common uses:

  1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars

  2. Can be a great aid to relaxation

  3. Very effective cleaning agent.

Tests:

  1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state

  2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Potential hazards:

  1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands

  2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as they do not come in direct contact with each other.

WARNING: PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE. !!!!

 
 
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