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One morning while making breakfast,
a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said,
"You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said,
"You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silence response,
so she rolled over and grabbed him by his package.
With a death grip in place she said,

"You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the butler, the pool man, and your brother."

 

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But...
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff,
eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money,
and doesn't appear to realize
that you actually set it free in the first place.....
.......you either married it or gave birth to it.

 

 

Corparate lessons Lesson:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,"
sighed the turkey,
"but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough strength
to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch. Finally after a fornight,
there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there. !!!!

 

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